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Monday, February 28th, 2005

Time:11:00 pm.
Taking a quick moment to update the LJ system. I keep forgetting this is here, since it was down for a while. The rest of the crew -- specifically paristorres, _tom_paris, kathrynjaneway and _tuvok_ -- are attending the emh's photographic essay presentation. harrykim just reminded me about the yellow alert, but I do think these kinds of events are good for the crew morale and also promote hobbies on board Voyager. Too many people depend on the holodeck for their entertainment, so I'm glad the emh is putting his interests to work. I see no reason to deprive the crew of this valuable opportunity. Plus I like sitting in the big chair.
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Sunday, February 13th, 2005

Time:10:10 pm.
paristorres said today that the system is working again after the power flux from last night took the main server done. She has the system running on back-up power and will let me know when it's stable. Meanwhile, all logs are being retrieved and put back online. She assures me there will be no loss of data. No word yet on what caused the power surge in the system.
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Saturday, March 13th, 2004

Subject:Attention, all crew members
Time:1:19 pm.
The Captain has organized a party in the mess hall tonight. Your presence is mandatory strongly encouraged. If you cannot attend, please stop by my quarters and explain. The party begins an hour before the end of beta shift and will end an hour after the beginning of gamma shift, giving plenty of time for crew members on both shifts to fawn over seven_of_nine to attend and enjoy some leola root good food and company.
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Tuesday, February 24th, 2004

Time:8:11 am.
My schedule is still wide open if anyone needs a counseling session. If you need more than 30 minutes, please let me know and I can adjust the schedule accordingly. Don't make me beg for company.
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Monday, February 23rd, 2004

Subject:Today's schedule
Time:10:38 pm.
I have open slots for counseling at the following times for anyone who might need it:

1800 - 1830 hours
1845 - 1915 hours
1930 - 2000 hours
2015 - 2045 hours

Some of you may want to take advantage of this. Yes, seven_of_nine, I'm talking to you.
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Wednesday, February 4th, 2004

Subject:A brief update
Time:10:36 pm.
I hope everyone enjoyed their shoreleave. I shall continue to press kathrynjaneway at every opportunity for more time planetside.

_tom_paris_, please report to my office; I need to discuss your current duty schedule with you. Also, your report on what you were doing in the Delta Flyer in the cargo bay is now officially overdue. You have until 1900 hours to turn in an explanation to me, otherwise, I will be forced to take disciplinary actions.
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Tuesday, January 20th, 2004

Subject:Equipment to bring on the hiking trip
Time:9:45 pm.
For those of you accompanying me on a trip into the Yrolg Mountains, please bring the following items:

* A warm jacket
* A backpack
* At least two bottles of water (we can refill the bottles at the summit; the authorities have assured me that the water supply is clean)
* A bagged lunch (please see neelix; you can pick up your lunch from him)
* A First Aid kit
* Extra pair of socks
* A raincoat
* Sturdy hiking boots
* A flashlight
* A tricorder
* Communicator
* Trail mix -- four packages (again, see neelix to pick up your trail mix)

No sleeping bags or cooking utensils are necessary for this trip (yes, harrykim, I'm talking to you). For those of you who are interested, there are cabins at the foothills of the mountains and we are welcome to stay there on our return; deluxe accommodations will be provided courtesy of the Kelaran IV government. If you do not wish to remain on the planet, you are welcome to return to Voyager or make other arrangements for the remainder of your shore leave.

Please leave any comments/concerns here.
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Monday, January 19th, 2004

Subject:Hiking Trip
Time:10:24 pm.
Attention all crew members:

I've discovered a nice, easy hike in the Yrolg range on the southern continent of Kelara IV. Those of you who wish to accompany me, meet me in the transporter room at 0900 hours. I will have neelix prepare bag lunches and we will eat at the summit. Remember to bring warm clothes, as it's quite windy at the top. It will take approximately 4.5 hours to reach the top. We will spend about an hour and half for lunch and general sightseeing, and we will return to the ship at approximately 2000 hours.
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Tuesday, December 16th, 2003

Time:7:52 am.
The Starfleet ship is still in pursuit, but even so, harrykim and I've decided to go ahead with our plans. Tessa is staying behind on the ship while we beam down to the planet to check what's left of Voyager.

The conditions are very cold -- the entire planet is covered with a giant sheet of ice and we've brought along EVA suits for this very purpose. Of course, these bulky type outfits, while doing a good job of keeping us alive, make it hard to move.

I don't anticipate we have a lot of time, so we're going to have to move fast if we're going to put Harry's plan into action.

Tessa has enabled audio upload to the LJ system, so I will continue this entry from the surface.

[LJ audio feed]

Ahhem, is this working?

I hear you loud and clear, Chakotay, go ahead. I'm monitoring your position and vitals from here.

Thanks, Tessa.

What are you seeing down there?

Ice, lots of it. [Foot scuffle] I think Voyager -- Harry, no -- I think Voyager is that way. Fifty meters to the left.

Keep me informed. [Laugh]. At least keep talking so I know you didn't freeze to death down there.

Will do. [Static] Be careful, Harry. Slow down.

[Incoherent mumbling]

I'm picking something up on the tricorder... Tessa, are you getting this?

Some kind of metallic debris, yes, Chakotay. About 5 to 10 meters below the surface. If that's Voyager, it's our lucky day.

We're nearing the coordinates now, Tessa. Keep a lock on our position.


[Incoherent mumbling]


Chakotay, what's the reading on the glaciers?

Uh... [Short breaths].

Chakotay, do you see Voyager yet?

[Indistinct mumbling]

Tessa, this is Harry. We've found it.

Thanks, Harry. Be careful.

Chakotay here. [Coughing]. The glacier fractures are stable.

Mmm...[Unclear transmission -- LJ system unable to upload audio transmission]

We're clear to beam inside.

Acknowledged, Harry.

Preparing for beam-- [static]


Here, Tessa.

Everything -- [static] all -- [static] -- right?


[End audio entry]
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Thursday, December 4th, 2003

Subject:The decision
Time:7:52 am.
I talked to Tessa after dinner about Harry's plan. I showed her the PADD and she sat for a full hour in silence, examining the data and material. She then put the PADDs aside and asked, "So when are we leaving?"

I stared at her in surprise. "What are you talking about? This is crazy. Sending a message back in time, recalculating the slipstream threshold, and completely altering the past..."

"The theory looks sound to me."

Tessa has always been supportive in the past, but this surprised me completely. So finally I said, "It may not work."

"But it might."

"And if it does?"

"We'll deal with that when it happens." Tessa held my hands in hers. "I think you'd be more upset if you didn't try. You've got a workable plan here, Chakotay, and I think you owe it to yourself, harrykim and your friends on Voyager to give it a shot." Then she smiled (I've always loved the way Tessa smiles -- a slow upturn of the lips, a bit of tooth showing and then the crinkle at the edge of her eyes). "I think we should do it, Chakotay."

I couldn't help but ask, "*We*?"

"You think I'm going to let you go by yourself?"

I didn't mention that the thought had occurred to me. "Tessa --"

"No ifs, no buts, no arguing," she said, putting her finger against my lips. "I'm coming with you and Harry. Someone's got to keep an eye on you two. One of us has to be unemotional about this."

I considered. Tessa is a lot like Kathryn -- stubborn to the bone. Once she sets her mind to something, there's no changing it. Tessa doesn't listen to what I have to say much more than Kathryn ever did. I don't know why it is I pick women like this. Maybe it's because they accept without answering what I'd never ask of them.

"You can invite harrykim for dinner tomorrow night," Tessa said, getting up from her chair. "I'll make vegetable biryani--" I winced at the mention of the last dish I'd shared with Kathryn Janeway "-- and we can talk more about what we're going to do and how the plan is going to work then."

Tessa disappeared to water the plants on the back porch and I continued to sit in the living room as shadows played against the walls. I know Harry isn't fond of Tessa at all, so I could only imagine what his reaction would be when I informed him Tessa would be coming with us. But at the same time, perhaps he'd be happy that we'd actually -- or rather Tessa had -- consented to his crazy plan.

As I went up to bed, I couldn't help but anticipate. What if it worked? It'd mean life back in the DQ, back on Voyager, back with Kathryn. I didn't look at Tessa, but a part of me really did hope for purely selfish reasons that we would be successful.
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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003

Time:11:09 pm.
Mood: anxious.
Well, lunch with harrykim was not what I expected. He has found the mistakes in the phase corrections and slipstream thresholds and he says he's run numerous scenarios; with the corrections, Voyager will be able to travel through slipstream safely.

I pointed out this was all 15 years in the past. He had an answer for that too; seven_of_nine.

I've looked over the figures and theories he's given me; science isn't my strong point, but everything here looks sound. Harry wants to give it a go. He asked if I was on board. What was I supposed to say?

If I say yes, I give up this new life I've created for myself -- and it's a life I do enjoy, for the record. However, saying no means dishonoring the memory of people whom I served with for five years.

I haven't told Tessa any of this yet. I'm not sure how she'll take the news, but I could use an impartial witness. I sometimes worry that Harry's desire to rectify a past mistake will consume him. Maybe I should agree to go along with this plan of his to put this to rest, one way or another.

I really need to talk to Tessa.
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Sunday, November 30th, 2003

Time:8:58 pm.
Mood: anxious.
It's been a long time since I've posted on the LJ system. Too many memories, you might say. And it is lonely coming on here, knowing the system is operable, but the people whom I shared it with are no longer with us. Except for harrykim, of course.

It was Tessa's idea to check and see if the system was still working. I'd told her about it over breakfast this morning and she said maybe keeping a journal like I once did would help come to terms with what happened to Voyager. I answered that I hadn't been very good at journaling in the past, but she was very insistent, saying maybe it was time to start up again. So here I am.

harrykim has asked me to meet him for lunch. He says he's figured out what happened to Voyager all those years ago. I'm apprehensive, but Tessa has urged me to go and hear what he has to say. A part of me wants to leave the past exactly where it is -- I've moved on. New life, new career, new everything -- it's not that I've forgotten or don't care, but I also realize that I can't let what happened to Voyager eat away at me for the rest of my life. It's a calculated decision to move on with my life and I know Harry's upset with me.

I worry about him. He is completely consumed by Voyager, obsesses about it regularly and send me messages about his latest discoveries. He spends hours in the holodeck running scenarios and revising calculations. Voyager -- what became of her -- has become Harry's life. It's not healthy, but he won't listen to reason. Harry has become singularly focused on the past, on a single moment that took place fifteen years ago, and I understand his resentment. I should be the one by his side, helping him figure out what went wrong and how we can fix it; but I'm not. Instead, I'm enjoying breakfest with Tessa, teaching at Stanford, and occasionally giving a lecture at Starfleet Academy. This is life. What Harry has is... well, I'd call it post-traumatic stress syndrome, but that's not quite right.

But I do have a nagging question -- what if Harry has indeed come upon something that could reverse what happened? If he's right, if this really is the solution *this* time, then then we have to act. However, acting means giving up the life I've created here, destroying this new timeline Harry and I've lived, and most of all, it means saying good-bye to Tessa.

I do love her.

Maybe not in the same way I've loved others, but she means something to me. She is real, warm, loving, and always sensitive to what I might be thinking. I know she loves me and she has been forceful in the past about getting me to face the Voyager demons. She's been supportive then, but this, this might be too much to ask of her.

In the meantime, I've been reading over some of the old LJ entries saved on the system. I miss them, all of them -- Tom, Seven, the EMH, Neelix, Naomi, Tal Celes, Tuvok and especially, Kathryn.

I still don't know what to do. Harry's been wrong in the past. There's no use getting my hopes up -- it could just be more of the same.
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Sunday, November 16th, 2003

Time:5:40 pm.
Ensign Celes has started her own livejournal here.

And now I must get to the party. Apparently the festivities have been going on for quite some time, given the inebriated state some of our senior crew members have found themselves in...
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Friday, November 14th, 2003

Time:10:09 pm.
Tal Celes, please stop by my quarters after the party in Engineering. Time is short, but I believe I have an hour or so to acquaint you with the LJ system. In the meantime, I hope you are all enjoying yourselves tonight. Give yourselves a pat on the back for all your hard work.
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Tuesday, September 30th, 2003

Time:7:54 am.
I just stopped by Engineering to get a system status report from paristorres on the slipstream drive. She, Joe Carey and seven_of_nine have been working all night and they say just a few more hours before they can definitively begin testing the new technology. This is indeed good news and good work on the part of the team. I had hoped to keep the new developments quiet, but Voyager is a small ship; most of the crew already knows what's going on. When I was in the mess hall earlier, a few crewmembers -- Ayala was one of them, if I recall correctly -- were discussing returning home. Ayala said his wife was pregnant when we left the AQ; he was looking forward to meeting his new son or daughter.

I hope, for their sake, that this technology works. While I'm not entirely sure of what my fate would be in the AQ, I realize that it's home for most of this crew and they have loved ones left behind. I'm lucky; everyone whom I care about is aboard Voyager.

Dinner with kathrynjaneway last night was enjoyable. Ostensibly, we were to discuss the new away team protocols in light of what just happened, but we ended up talking more about the AQ and future plans. If we do indeed end up in the AQ, I think I'd like to leave Starfleet and perhaps become an archeologist. Provided I don't get shipped off to prison first.
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Saturday, September 27th, 2003

Time:11:12 am.
seven_of_nine and I made it to about 80 meters from the Delta Flyer before we were stopped by the benomite. Neither of us read any life signs aboard the Flyer, but I knew if we cleaned away enough of the debris, we might be able to beam the Flyer up to Voyager. I contacted Voyager to request more assistance to clear away the debris in hopes of getting the Flyer free.

The Away teams arrived, but after about 6 or 7 minutes, kathrynjaneway let us know a massive ion storm was on its way and our entire carvern was going to destabilize when it hit. I informed the captain only a few meters separated us from the Flyer; she gave us six minutes to get the shuttle free.

Thanks to hard work of the Away team, we were able to place the pattern enhancers and beam the Flyer out within the deadline. And I'm extremely happy to report that all three members of the Away team have survived. Samantha Wildman is recovering nicely in sickbay and I believe emh discharged both _tom_paris_ and _tuvok_ after a check-up.

This incident has made me consider suggesting to the Captain we need to have some kind of Away mission protocol established. We might not be so lucky next time.
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Wednesday, September 24th, 2003

Time:10:55 pm.
naomiwildman wandered onto the Bridge by accident. I'm going to let neelix deal with Naomi; obviously, the little girl was traumatized (and with good reason) by what she saw.

It's been decided seven_of_nine and I will beam into a passageway below the planetoid's surface and search for the Delta Flyer. Hopefully, we will be able to beam the Flyer out with little trouble.

I just hope we're not too late.
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Monday, September 8th, 2003

Time:11:14 pm.
After much consideration, I have decided it is necessary to interupt the Captain's 'vacation' and ask her to come to the Bridge. We have been unable to contact the Delta Flyer. harrykim detected a Mayday message from Commander Tuvok. Since then, we have had no information on the Flyer.

Given the intelligence on the strength of the ion storms and the lack of any M-class planets in the last-known vicinity, we may need to brace ourselves for the worst possible outcome.
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Saturday, September 6th, 2003

Subject:Away mission update
Time:11:47 am.
seven_of_nine reports that the ion storms are growing more fierce. I have already summoned paristorres and harrykim to the bridge. I'm going to evaluate the situation in 30 minutes to determine whether it's necessary to alert the Captain (kathrynjaneway). Since the emh has somehow managed to get Kathryn to rest for some time, I'm loathe to disturb her if unnecessary.
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Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003

Time:9:32 am.
I made a recommendation to extend the Delta Flyer's mission by two days. Ion storms aside, this looks like a relatively calm sector and there seem to be plenty of scientific phenomena to observe; it may be some time before we get a chance like this again. The crew of the Flyer agreed with my assessment -- they have provisions for a week.

The only real issue is Ensign Wildman has left her daughter (naomiwildman) behind but neelix assures me Naomi is doing well. This is good news, as Ensign Wildman had approached me some weeks ago about participating in more away missions. It goes without saying away missions are a necessary part of the curia vita and also a factor in promotional schedules.
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LiveJournal for Chakotay.

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